Sunday, March 05, 2006

Facts, legless lizards and anoraks



It occurred to me last week that I am a bit of an anorak when it comes to certain facts. This is not a new discovery - in fact the confidential report on me when I completed the combat medic's course in 1980 in Rhodesia said " A cheerful, enthusiastic and capable medic - if a trifle pedantic". Being described as a pedant at the age of 18 does not bode well for one's forties... how did I get to read this report you ask? I burgled the Sergeant-Major's safe and read it is how - we started out with about 130 people on the 4-month course and some 22 of us passed (the rest being returned to unit or put onto a more junior course). I came third overall - (top national serviceman though, with regular soldiers filling the top two places) and I wanted to know where I had gone wrong.

So what caused this moment of anorakish revelation? Well, last week I was on a management breakaway in a lovely little seaside North Norfolk town called Holkham and as usual was exercising my storytelling and drama queen abilities for the delight and edification of my colleagues. I recounted the story of finding a slow worm, or legless lizard, in the Swinley Forest near Bracknell and was met with a barrage of denial and cries of "Nonsense" from my colleagues. They of course neither knew nor cared whether such a creature existed, but were merely winding me up and bringing a welcome end to my apparently inexhaustible store of anecdotes. What amazed me was the way I reacted to being told I was talking rubbish.

Just for the record, of course, I was right. http://www.bbc.co.uk/nature/wildfacts/factfiles/281.shtml will bear me out as will these following pictures, although they are not clear enough to reveal the distinguishing characteristic of the little herpetiform creature - its eyelids. Which doubtless the wee creature had tightly shut when I picked it up, my then wife having executed a vertical leap of some three feet on seeing it cross the path by her feet as we walked. An interesting set of natural phenomena ensued that day; firstly the appearance of the aforementioned Anguis fragilis, secondly the astounding leap executed in defiance of her somewhat squat and simian physiology by the former Mrs. Hodgson and thirdly the presence of mind that had me seizing the little wriggler by what would have been the nape of its neck, if it had a neck, because I realised it was not an adder and thus non-venomous in the context of English snake lore.

All of which is mildly interesting, but not the point of this discourse. I guess for a very long time I have depended on my knowledge of facts as being my unique differentiator. Given that I have always been in a newly-created role during my work life, and usually as a specialist in one or other discipline, a head full of arcane knowledge has been my foundation and the one point of stability in a very chaotic career. So how profoundly (and hilariously) discombobulated I became on having such a simple point of fact challenged by my colleagues. Thanks friends - a valuable bit of insight gained. And when you arise shrieking from your conference accommodation beds next time, having discovered one or another reptile amongst your duvets, I know you will take it in good spirit.

2 Comments:

Blogger Robb WJ Ellis said...

Yo Shane!

Funnily enough, just a few minutes ago, on a nature film we were watching, I learned about the "slow worm" - a legless lizard - here in the UK!

A1 for being an anorak!

'debvhu

9:36 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Shane.

Still full of it, I see! But I do like the way you write. It brought back memories of Zims all those years ago.

Debby (ex FVHS)

4:06 am  

Post a Comment

<< Home